'this isn't the end...it's just the end of the beginning.'

thank you, peggy.

distractions

last week, all i wanted to do was curl up into a ball in my bed and snuggle. alone. with someone. just snuggle. to make it very clear, i didn't make my bed once last week. normally, i make a habit of it. for me, it's all about coming home to a fresh, inviting home. seemingly, last week the only thing that seemed to be touched in my apartment was my bed. everything else was in its right place.

that being said, i'm really making an effort to commit to my yoga practice and last week, i only practiced one day. it was a class that didn't particularly inspire me, so i remained unfocused, scoping out the scene. that's when i notice that i'm clearly distracted. either my mind is focused on 15 other things or i'm not reaching deep enough inside myself to control my focus, whatever it was i knew that the new week had to bring something else. each day is a new one, i said, so i recommit each day. and that's what you have to keep doing.

i went to a class last night and 'because i work for lululemon,' i was asked to give up my mat space. my options were to leave or practice in the back corner. not just any back corner, but the corner that lead to the in-studio bathroom, with an uneven cement floor and curtains that i had to push aside. a large metal pole in front of me and a locker with the stereo system behind me. luckily, i've been practicing long enough to know what i'm doing because if i hadn't, i would have been completely lost because i couldn't see any other students in the sold-out class. distractions were coming at me from left and right. i kicked the metal locker in 3-legged dog, i nearly face-planted into the metal pole in front of me through all of my chaturangas; then got nervous in my headstand that i'd kick over backwards and the pole would split me in half, the uneven cement made me feel uneven, constantly trying to find a better place on my mat to put my hands. my entire practice was a distraction.

and that was my challenge. the intention of the class was to overcome these little distractions with focus. a deep, inner focus that i clearly did not have. and i think that's the point. every day, every minute, every second throws a distraction in our way and if we're not determined to get over or through it, however we choose, we're not going to get anywhere.

stay focused in this practice of life because the distractions are all a part of the journey.

cherry blossom yoga

join peggy mulqueen, who will be leading cherry blossOM yoga in d.c. - sponsored by lululemon athletica and the rest of the d.c. yoga community. she'll be surrounded by other dazzling dc yogis (including lana beex, mimi rieger, david kyle, alison adams, cassandra walsh, and many more faces you will recognize!) - on stage.

we'll even feature live music by om kaboom!

so - please join . . . april 3rd @ 11 am - on the sylvan theatre mall - and a thousand of your closest friends...

bring your mom, dad, kids and grandparents, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors! come wearing your brightest colors . . . rain or shine!

(taken from the lovely peggy mulqueen.)

core.

when we take care of the things at the center of our lives first, then the rest of our life falls into place in a way that makes sense to us.

- kathryn budig

my lovely friend

beautiful words from my lovely best friend, mary beth.

today was the sort of day best spent in bed. torrential downpour, chilly temps - the antithesis of a usual los angeles morning. but today was the first day of my 40 day home practice challenge, and i have committed.

so i rolled out my yoga mat and sat down and let my practice unfold. in one of my favorite books, bringing yoga to life, the author donna farhi writes about coming to your mat every day no matter what. whether you are tired, giddy, hungry, or grieving the constant in your life must be coming to your mat and sitting with whatever is happening inside of you.

how often do we actually acknowledge what is going on in our lives, or even in our heads? how often do we take the time to reflect?

i’m pretty sure most people would answer - not very often.

so i sat with what i was feeling. i was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of studying ahead of me in my 300-hour yoga teacher training. i was feeling drained by a squabble with my boyfriend. i was feeling a little sick from the chai i had in the morning.

and slowly it all began to lift. did it all go away? no, of course not. but through my breath and movement i was able to find a spaciousness in my heart and my body began to fit a little bit better.

i’m looking forward to these 40 days of exploring. digging. releasing. allowing.

unknowing...

i've been feeling this pressure from all around to figure out what it is that i want to do with the rest of my life as soon as possible. mostly, from my mom and society. the question "did you get a job yet?" on a bi-weekly basis is making me insane. i understand that my chances of getting a job that can buy me happiness are better now, as a recent college grad, but i don't want to sit behind a desk, in a cubicle, answering phones. so i may not know exactly what it is that i want to do, but i do know that working with real people, face-to-face is something i'm good at. and i love the arts, boy, do i love the arts. and this yoga thing, i am absolutely falling in love with yoga. so for now, working retail (like i have been for the last 3 years), is going to be great for me and my fingers are crossed for when i apply for a lululemon position next month. yeah, i may not be making $40,000 a year, have student loans to worry about, but i know that i can be happy struggling. people struggle every single day, far worse than i do, and for now, i'm okay with struggling because i know i'll be happy in a new city with john, marybeth & said right around the corner, and lots and lots of new friends. i don't have to do this for the rest of my life and who says i will, but for now, it's fine by me. i will always have that 'b.a. in international studies' to put on my resume.

Why lay yourself on the torturer’s rack of the past and future?

The mind that tries to shape tomorrow beyond its capacities
will find no rest.

Be kind to yourself, dear- to our innocent follies.

Forget any sounds or touch you knew that did not help you dance.

You will come to see that all evolves us.

If you put your heart against the earth with me, in serving
every creature, our Beloved will enter you from our sacred realm
and we will be, we will be
so happy.

- rumi